Happy New Year!
How do you feel about New Years? It’s a very divisive time, I think – lots of people celebrate their achievements, while others feel a lot of sadness and regret, worrying that they’ve ‘wasted’ a year or not done the things they wanted to. I think I can relate to both groups, but I’m trying hard to NOT be angry at myself, and to be positive, because I have achieved a lot this year, and 2024 brings another 12 months to make new memories, do different things, and hopefully make further steps to being who I’d like to be and leading the life I want to!
One thing many of us do is set new resolutions, and as part of that, I want to talk about making resolutions that are neurodiversity-FRIENDLY. I have spent far too long trying to change myself and make myself fit into boxes that just aren’t right for me, and setting resolutions that reflect that…it’s not a good idea. Resolutions, if you set them, should ultimately support you to be happier! That’s what life is about: making yourself happy. Not proving yourself, or trying to meet the expectations of others, or trying to fit standards set by a society that doesn’t understand you.
So, in light of all this, here are some tips to think about when setting resolutions, to make them autism-friendly:
1. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Make sure that you aren’t setting unrealistic goals or trying to push yourself to do too many things. Life is busy, and hard, and we often always feel like we need to do more, be more, work harder, be different. Your resolutions should be realistic and not overwhelming!
2. Make your list FLEXIBLE. Remember you can change your goals over the year, and that it’s okay not to achieve all of them. These goals shouldn’t be strict and rigid – sometimes you can change your mind, or things come up!
3. Consider your special interests. Setting goals relating to things you love is a good way of motivating yourself to do more of what makes you happy! For example, I want to spend more time doing art, and to try again to learn Japanese!
4. Look after yourself. Resolutions can be ‘nice’ to YOU. We often feel forced to make resolutions that involve DOING something more, so it feels like an achievement, but it is just as much of an achievement to be kinder to yourself. Give yourself a break. For example, you could spend more money on yourself, sleep more, rest more, relax more, take more breaks, write positive things about yourself, etc. I think, perhaps because we often don’t value ourselves enough, autistic individuals frequently neglect self care and avoid being kind to themselves.
5. Consider self advocacy. Particularly when you are autistic, it is important to advocate for yourself and be confident in what you need. You could consider resolutions like trying to always communicate our feelings and what your needs are in terms of energy or sensory input. Or maybe to be proud and to use support when you need that – be that support from professionals, from friends/family, or from tools like noise cancelling headphones. Or, to not force yourself to do things that are stressful and difficult, to please others. I have been trying to stand up for myself more when it comes to family gatherings and holiday celebrations, recently, and to say what would suit me or make them easier for me to enjoy, and it has been really great!
6. Remember they don’t have to be super specific. Goals don’t have to be specific – sometimes being too specific can make them feel like a pressure and like a chore. Unless it is helpful, make your goals more open – i.e. spend more time doing art rather than ‘paint 12 pictures’.
I hope you find these tips helpful! I also want to give you some ideas for some resolutions or goals you might want to consider, that promote autism awareness, acceptance, and positivity:
- Volunteer for an autism charity
- Proudly wear a sunflower lanyard or other sunflower accessory
- Make more neurodiverse friends
- Share your experiences of being autistic with friends and family, or even people you don’t know
- Recommend books, apps and resources about autism to people
- Fundraise for a charity such as the National Autistic Society
Would you be interested in hearing my resolutions? A lot of mine are about recovering from my mental health issues, and doing more of my favourite hobbies!
What are your resolutions for 2024?
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