Being in hospital for Christmas is not a fun experience, so I am afraid my ‘Christmas post’ (I thought that, as is embraced by most blogs, a customary Christmas post was warranted) is going to be a little bit ‘Grinchy’! I thought it’d be more fun to make light of my situation than wallow in it: this is, without a doubt, my worst Christmas to date, and I’m not happy, so I won’t pretend to be! It’s okay to not be super festive and for there to be some ‘bad in the good’! You aren’t a spoilsport for maybe not having the best time around Christmas – but it IS your repsonsibility to try and make the best of things and make it work for you as much as possible.
- Cold Weather – Christmas in England means colder weather, which can be stressful for a number of reasons, such as having to wear lots of layers or find warm clothes that are comfortable sensory-wise, and the change in the types of activities you can do. It can be difficult to cope with a sports club closing over winter.
- Family and Friends – it is a time of year for ‘coming together’, so lots of socialising takes place, which can be exhausting, and anxiety-provoking, particularly when it comes to ‘big’ events with lots of people (this could be a family get-together or a work Christmas party).
- The Food – at this time of year certain foods become unavailable, and certain foods are sold. There can be a pressure from the people around you to join in and eat these foods, which can be very stressful. I personally love mince pies, but some years I have found the pressure to have things like stuffing and roast potatoes really really hard to deal with.
- Lots of Music and Lights – both at home and outside, people decorate at Christmas, and play music. These can both present challenges from a sensory perspective.
- Shopping – one of the big elements of Christmas is going to markets, getting food for Christmas, and just browsing stores! I find shopping extremely stressful, as there are so many choices and possibilities, and it can be hard to be comprehensive.
- Buying Presents – this is very very stressful for me. It can be hard to find the ‘perfect gift’, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to get it for people! The social norms around it can be confusing to – who do I need to buy a gift for? How much do I spend? What is appropriate, and what isn’t?
- Christmas Activities – over Christmas there are lots of events such as ‘Christmas lights’ walks, going ice skating, baking, Christmas mass or other religious events. These can interfere with your normal routine and make life feel more chaotic. Each one can also be scary if you don’t know exactly what to expect, too.
- A Different Schedule – because of the different activities, particularly on the day, it can be hard to manage your own routine. Your family may use the lounge as a place to watch festive shows or the kitchen may be used for cooking all day.
- Chaos Over Town – shops close and open at different times over Christmas, and also may run out of stock of things, as people tend to buy more. This can be really stressful!
- Recieving Presents – the element of surprise can be very overwhelming, and I personally struggle with knowing how to react. Am I smiling enough? How do I express gratitude?
- Festive Things – over Christmas you may find that your favourite products release festive editions, or that stores stop selling things in order to make room for more Christmas stuff!
- The Busy Atmosphere – I think that in general the busy atmosphere – your family being stressed or very busy, and also your local area, as people rush to buy food and presents, and get involved with all the celebratory events – can create an environment that harbours even more stress. It’s very hard to not get caught up in the whirlwind of it all!
Do any of you relate to these? Well I hope this post brings you some comfort, in knowing that you aren’t alone and that your feelings are extremely valid. It can be easy to feel guilty for not joining in or being jolly, when actually you should be being kind to yourself and maybe giving yourself a pat on the back for managing during this time of year. Some of my tips for managing at Christmas:
- Plan in advance – use a calendar and write out or with pictures write in events and tasks that need doing so you know what to expect and also can process what is happening over the period. It can be so overwhelming otherwise. It may help to try to keep some routines the same, to provide some stability amongst all the chaos.
- Give yourself breaks. You do not have to join in with every activity, and that counts for things before the big day, and on the day. Yes, you may have family pressures, but compromise is key! I often have my own food at Christmas and just join in with some elements of the dinner, and I do enjoy getting involved with the cooking!
- Be prepared for sensory stresses. There almost definitely will be more noise, you may encounter bright lights, and almost certainly there’ll be different smells to contend with. Make sure you have things to help you cope – be this noise cancelling headphones or tinted glasses, or a fidget toy.
- Discuss with your family about how to make activities suit you – and be open and honest, wherever possible. If you know you can’t manage the food, or feel nervous about a certain activity, let them know, be this in writing or by just having a conversation with them about it. Chances are there will be a way of making things a bit easier. For example, if opening presents is stressful, why not ask to be given a list in advance of what has been bought?
Ah, that’s better – ending on a positive note! Now, while my Christmas isn’t super great, I am going to enjoy doing some art, chat to a kind person who is taking time away from their family to phone me, think of a few ways to give back to others as we enter 2023, and think about how I’ll make Christmas better when it next rolls around!
GENUINELY NOW: MERRY CHRISTMAS. I truly hope you ARE having a wonderful day!
(Sunflower Saff)
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