WOAH!
It’s been months since I’ve posted, or blogged, or really been very active on here, and I’m so sorry it’s been so long, but life just became very overwhelming, and I decided I needed to take time out from my blogging. I’ve been continuing to volunteer and use my lived experience when I’ve had the chance to, but it was only about a week and a half ago that I finally, I think, come to the end of the major period of stress, and have had the spce and time to think, and organise myself. I hope I’m embarking on a new chapter of my life now, and so I think it’s time for an update?

What’s Happened:

• For numerous reasons, I ended up in a very bad place with my health last Christmas, and was admitted to hospital.
• It was extremely stressful and scary – and the admission was very very difficult; being in an inpatient unit that really didn’t understand my autism, ARFID, or my family made it a very negative experience. I felt very helpless. I didn’t feel listened to by staff at all, and it really highlighted to me how much still needs to change when it comes to both awareness of autism and the overall treatment and support provided by the healthcare system.
• Despite all this, I was very very very proud of myself when I eventually was discharged and allowed home in May. The feeling of having freedom again was absolutely incredible. Being in my own enviroment and able to make my own choices.
• My admission to hospital pushed me to decide to change careers, so I quit accounting, and in June I started work as a HCA at a local hospital! I hope to pursue nursing, but at the moment am gaining experience in a hospital environment, which has been a steep learning curve, and very tough.

What Other (More Fun) Stuff Has Happened:

• I WENT TO EUROVISION (May), which was absolutely amazing and one of the best nights of my life!!
• I had my first holiday abroad in over ten years, with my wonderful boyfriend (June), in Finland, which was a challenging but brilliant time, and included my first proper ice cream for over a decade!
• A few festivals, gigs, concerts, including The 1975!
• Reading, crocheting, baking, learning things (although much less of that in the last few months, sadly, because of my health dwindling)

Unfortunately the anxiety and stress from all of these life changes put a strain on my health, and it’s no longer in a very good position…so that’s what I’m trying to prioritise now. I want to be well, to be able to LIVE life, and follow all my dreams: nursing, having a family, travel, learning things. Without energy and health, you can’t do anything. I am very very lucky to have such a supportive group of family and friends around me, who are all supporting me to get myself better, which in the last few weeks is what has become my focus. I’ve made a huge number of changes to turn things around, and 2023 will be ‘my year’!

My New Goals:

• Weight gain, weight gain, weight gain
• Getting back to MY hobbies and interests and being ME
• Posting on this blog, but also using my Instagram @sunflower_saff more, for more regular updates and thoughts.

Thank you for reading, if you made it this far 🙂